A letter to myself.

I thought this might be an interesting read for some- here is a letter to my past self.

Dear Chloe,

Although it is a bit strange that I’m writing a letter to my past self, at least I’m writing to someone I know. Well, where to start past-Chloe. You’ve always been a worrier and I wish that I could say that you grow out of it. Unfortunately, it would seem that worrying is a part of who you are but that doesn’t mean that it is necessarily a bad thing. Anxiety is a horrible thing and you know that better than most. On the bright side, it has served you well as material for features and assignments! Joking aside-while others may not constantly worry about the effect of their words, the fear that you have of upsetting others has made you a thoughtful person. Thoughtfulness is a quality that I feel is underrated but incredibly important.

Things aren’t going to be perfect past-Chloe and that is something that you need to accept. Although everything isn’t going to be perfect, there will be a point where you are going to be happier than you ever thought possible. If I could offer any advice to my past self it would be to say to keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll get there.

STOP HATING YOUR BODY. I can’t lie to you, you don’t even love your body right now- but you’re starting to accept it a little bit more. Everyone has things that they would change about themselves, but your body (touch wood) is serving you well so stop being so angry with it. Just because you’re not as slim as you’d like it doesn’t mean that you are a terrible person and it is definitely not the end of the world. A few things are going to happen in the lead up to and over the course of your university years which will teach you a thing or two. One or two of those things won’t be pleasant, but they will teach you something about the world and more importantly, yourself. You’re stronger than you think.

This is only a quick note and I’m sure that I will write another letter to myself, but most of all just remember to smile more.

From future-Chloe

Busy bee.

I’ve been a bit of a busy bee lately and it’s a refreshing feeling. Summer is here and it has left me feeling determined and inspired. As you know, I am an aspiring journalist and writer and I have made it my mission to gain experience over the next few months. Although I do not have the funds to go to a magazine and write for them in London, I have been pitching to several different digital and print publications in the hope of gaining some bylines.

Fingers crossed everything goes well!

I will be sure to keep you updated on my progress.

I’m back- again

Just like I said I would be, I’m back- again! This week has been an incredibly productive one in terms of writing and job hunting. It is my birthday next week and ultimately this means that I will have a few days whereby I may not be as productive as I’d like. I suppose that can’t be helped though, you only get a birthday once a yeah- right? I’m going to let myself off on that one.

Although generally this week has been productive, I have found myself struggling for inspiration today. I have a list of feature ideas and possible blog posts but whenever I start writing them, I find myself staring at a blank page for hours upon end.

The end of this academic year has left me feeling rather unsettled and it is because of this that I have started writing more features and more blog posts again. I find that if my mind is not occupied, it begins to dwell and wander and nobody wants that. I am aiming to have written a film review by the end of the day and a feature by the end of tomorrow. Personally, I have always struggled with sticking to goals that I have set myself in regards to the sense of pressure I place on myself essentially ends in me achieving precisely nothing.

I have made it my mission to complete at least one professional and one personal task a day. An example of this couple be something quite small, such as washing my make-up brushes. This may sound ludicrous but it is something which I have been meaning to do for a while and it is a simple task which is incredibly satisfying. Starting my day by completely a task which I have been putting off for a while meant that one of my first feelings of the day, was a sense of achievement. An example of a ‘professional’ task which I have completed today is replying to an email with a list of possible feature ideas that I may write for a website.

It is because of the sense of achievement that I have felt from completing each of these tasks today that I urge you to do something similar. By replying to that email that you’ve been ignoring, or calling that friend that you haven’t spoken to in ages, you’re crossing off items from your internal list. Perhaps you’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed recently and the world is feeling a bit big and scary right now, the best way to conquer that feeling is to take it one small step at a time.

Stop procrastinating and start productivity.

Motivation.

2015 has been a hectic year to say the least. There have been countless deadlines and an unthinkable amount of stress. This is not to say that this year has been a bad one by any means. I don’t want to jinx anything but this has definitely been the best year of my life for a number of reasons.

Due to all the deadlines for my second year at university, I have sadly neglected this blog as I had to prioritise my assessments. However, now that the academic year is over, I can now update you lovely lot on what I’ve been doing.

I pledge to you all that I am going to update you on the different things that I have done and that have happened this year.

Watch this space for more posts, reviews and ramblings in the very near future!

New Year.

Happy New Year everyone!

*DISCLAIMER* This post will be both cliche and soppy- you’ve been warned!

This time of year often causes people to feel a sense of nostalgia. The beginning of a new year provides us a with a chance to start fresh and allows us to reflect on the events of the previous year. I could sit here and bombard you with countless cliches and idioms about new starts, but I am going to refrain from doing so. In previous posts I promised that I would try and keep up with this blog as much as possible and I aim to stick to this promise. Today’s post will provide you with my own feelings about the new year and 2014.

It is now 2015. That’s a weird feeling to me. In a few months I will be celebrating my 20th birthday and this thought often sets off alarm bells in my head. However, there aren’t many things which don’t set off alarm bells in my head. 2014 has been an eventful year to say the least. There have been highs and lows and I can honestly say that to me personally, it was an unforgettable year. I have experienced some of my darkest days but, as you can tell from this post, I am still here to tell the tale. While last year (I still can’t get used to saying that) was home to some of the worst days of my life, I can genuinely say now that I am the happiest that I have ever been. I am often cautious with my words because I worry about tempting fate. However, as I mentioned in my previous post, I am refusing to give in to this fear. Fear can help us but it can also be a hindrance.

Take advantage of every single day. Many people use the start of a new year to make changes to their life, I personally feel that it is never too late to make changes. You don’t have to make these changes at a particular time of year, you need to do them whenever the time is right for you. It may be the start of a new year, but remember, every day provides you with a fresh start. Those 24 hours are new and fresh and you can make little changes or big changes whenever you please.

Be happy.

I’ve been through a lot of things in my life- who hasn’t? Each of these experiences, good or bad, have changed me in some way or another. As a result of this I have been a worrier for the majority of my life. I have always seen the fear and risk in everything and this has meant that I have often steered clear of situations which made me anxious. Recently, I started thinking about this at length and I came to a realisation. Due to my own fear of things going wrong, I often am the reason why things don’t go exactly to plan. I spend so much time worrying about the good things in my life coming to an end, that I don’t actually spend enough time enjoying them.

Enough is enough. Life is short and we are reminded of this relentlessly but it does need to be said and considered. Why should I waste my time worrying about things going wrong rather than enjoying them? Take this post for instance, I have been terrified about writing it as I was worried that it would ‘jinx’ the things that are going right for me. Even whilst I have been writing I have been having an internal debate about whether publishing this is a good idea or not. I refuse to let my own insecurity ruin my happiness. My advice? Don’t let fear rule your life.

I am the happiest I have ever been and for once I’m not afraid to say it.

Review: Foo Fighters- Sonic Highways

There are said to be a few certainties in life. The first is death and the second is taxes. There is a third certainty which everyone forgets; each album that the Foo Fighters gifts to the world will be nothing less than a masterpiece. Sonic Highways is the eighth album from the monarchs of rock music- the Foo Fighters. Recorded in eight iconic studios over the course of a year, arguably this album is a utopia for fans of this legendary band

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Listening to the opening track of the album, Something From Nothing, you can almost feel the heat from the heaving, sweaty and intoxicated bodies of festival-goers surrounding you. Ever since Dave Grohl started the band in 1994, Foo Fighters have been a prominent and adored name within the rock music scene. Sonic Highways has launched them into 2014, with tracks such as Subterranean which is arguably the heartbeat of the album, and has proved that these rockers are still alive amongst the practically prepubescent ‘stars’ in the rock charts.

Admittedly, the album does not contain as many instant classics or anthems as some of their earlier albums such as Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace and Wasting Light. However, What Did I Do/God As My Witness and Outside will be sure to quench the thirst that fans have had for the raw and honest expertise of this band. Although they cannot provide a cure for Ebola, one thing that is for sure is that they can provide an antidote for all the poisonous pop ‘music’ that we are relentlessly subjected to on a daily basis.

Comfort Zone

Until recently, I had never been one for stepping out of my comfort zone. I once read a quote which said:

“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are made for”- John Augustus Shedd

This idea has resonated with me ever since I stumbled upon it. Due to a number of factors I have often, like many, feared the realms beyond my comfort zone. However, over the course of the past couple of years I have actively tried to force myself to step out of my comfort zone. More often than not, I have found that my initial fears about something are more extreme than the actual event. On many occasions it was the thought of something which scared me and the potential risks, but once I had looked past these, I found stepping out of my comfort zone to be a rewarding experience.

On countless occasions over the years I have found myself biting my tongue and holding back my opinions out of fear of humiliation or confrontation. Until one day, it occurred to me, what was the worst that could happen? It is one of my grandparents who presented me with this way of thinking. When confronted with a situation or an opportunity, I think to myself- what is the worst that could happen? If I feel as if I can deal with the ‘worst’ that may potentially happen or if I decide that this is unlikely to happen, it makes things seem less scary. Due to my lack of sleep I understand that I may not have explained this properly. In essence, this way of thinking helps you look at situations rationally and take them at face value- rather than what your mind builds them up to be. This can, as a result, aid you in your decision making.

I guess what I am trying to say is that stepping out of your comfort zone can be extremely rewarding. With this in mind, I could throw a thousand over-used cliches at you about personal growth and change, but I will refrain from doing so. All I ask, is that next time you go to decline an offer because it makes you feel nervous, or it is out of your comfort zone- do it. You never know what you might be missing out on. If the activity is not dangerous, illegal or immoral just think to yourself- what’s the worst that could happen?

December.

Each and every December I find myself in a state of reflection. As it is the final month of the year, many people often do the same thing. It has been a year full of ups and downs for me, as with many people, but as cliche as it may sound I truly believe that this year has been life-changing. I have seen a growth in my confidence levels and my happiness levels throughout the year and I am hoping that these changes will stay. Time and time again I have written on here about how my anxiety has often been a concern of mine. However, I have tried to face my demons and battle my anxiety by forcing myself to venture out of the confines of my comfort zone. This has been done in both my personal and professional life and I cannot wait to share more details with you in future posts.

Apologies for the short post but I assure you that there are many to follow!

Stay positive!